Sleepless Nights and Blips of Time

I love to sleep, like love it with all of my heart. And before chemo had the ability to fall asleep pretty much anywhere. Sitting, standing, with kids loudly playing. Sit me in a little bit of warm sunshine and let the naps begin! And honestly, I need a lot of sleep or there’s a chance I may be just a “little” grumpy the next day.

One of the potential side effects of chemo is trouble sleeping. Seems counterintuitive, right? This medicine that makes my body so absolutely exhausted, yet I can’t sleep. What is up with that?! By the end of the day, I am totally mentally and physically exhausted. Sometimes to the point of tears if I push myself too hard. If I am lucky enough to go to sleep, I’ll wake quickly and then not be able to go back to sleep. There’s also early menopause which causes hot and cold flashes and night sweats during the night. It’s quite a glorious combination… (little sarcasm there).

Luckily there’s medicine available that helps so much with this and enables me to get a good night’s rest. I’m not a fan of taking medicine, but I had to temporarily throw that philosophy out the door once chemo started. Taking medicine is what I do these days, it’s just part of the process. But I still don’t like it (insert stubbornness).

This process is long, or it feels long. But I’m halfway through chemo now. Nine more weeks left of weekly Taxol infusions. Then a few weeks off, and provided all goes well, it looks like surgery will be around the end of May. As Jason, and a few others have said, this will soon be but a blip of time. And it’s true, it will. But it won’t be a blip I’ll forget, nor will I forget all that I’ve learned during this process. It will be a blip that caused me to appreciate everything in my life, including a good night’s sleep. So to get through this blip, I’m going to take my medicine and rest. Here’s hoping to a good and a warm night’s rest to all!

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