Wow, today was 70 degrees and sunny and holy moly did I need that! Those of you who know me well, know of my distaste for winter. I actually love snow, but strongly dislike the cold. Yet, oddly enough, my heart still aches to be back in Vermont. However, in the southeast, it’s those one or two 60-70 degree days in February that get me through winter. A little taste of spring. Like Mother Nature says, in her slightly deep, sweet flowing voice, “Here you go loves, spring will be here soon. Let me wrap you in some warmth for a bit.” And it was lovely… we sat in the sun, listened to music, washed the dog and grilled burgers.
It’s been awhile since I’ve updated because I’ve been exhausted to my core. I thought I knew exhaustion after having babies. And don’t get me wrong, a non-sleeping two year old and a new born was exhaustion on a level I had never experienced. But the first 8 weeks of chemo kicked that down a notch. Honestly didn’t know it was possible to be this tired for this long. Friends, it is.
Last week was my first dose/infusion of the new chemo regimen and it went well. My oncologist changed the dosing slightly so that I’ll receive Taxol every week, and Carboplatin only every 4 weeks. The hope is to try to get 3 doses of Carboplatin in before my white cells refuse to cooperate. With these meds, there is an increased chance of a reaction while you are receiving the medicine, so I received a steroid and Benadryl with the infusion. I normally don’t handle steroids well (like, they make me crazy) but it went well last week and I’m hopeful for the same for the next 11 weeks.
Good news is that the side effects of this new regimen are much easier to handle. The nausea is no where near as bad and I do have an appetite. Things still taste weird, but apparently that’s just par for the course. Haven’t had any cravings, other than for really flavorful food. The tough part is that the fatigue is still unreal and there are more aches and pains. My heart will start pounding with the least bit of activity and I have to lay down. Some days that’s frustrating on an epic level. The simplest tasks, I no longer take for granted and never will again.
The mass continues to shrink and we’re moving forward one day and one step at a time. Some steps and days are hard. Some are physically challenging. Some are tearful and emotionally challenging. But it’s also bringing us together in a way I never thought possible. We are surrounded by so much love and watching it grow is getting me through the rough days. As well as a little bit of warm mid-winter sunshine.