Breast Cancer

Summer, Summer, Summer

Dear Summer,summer

I could cry tears of pure joy. It’s been a really, really, really long time since last summer. And an exceptionally long and grueling winter that I would rather not repeat. Ever. I spent all winter dreaming of you. Your long, bright, hot, humid days longing for a cold glass of water or sweet iced tea. Kids running, playing and eating popsicles and catching fireflies with no worries of school or homework. Sleeping in and lazily drinking my cup of coffee while the kids watch cartoons. Going to the pool or lake to beat the heat. Heading to the river so we can swim, sunbathe, fish, crab and relax. Oh and the beach. I haven’t seen the beach yet and I miss it like last summer. But soon we’ll be there.

Summer, I have a seriously ridiculous love affair with you. It rivals my love of sweet tea and Instagram. I love basking in the heat of summer. Lately I don’t even want to be inside an air conditioned house. I just want to sit outside in your heat and soak up every single minute of you.

I haven’t felt much contentment since having cancer. The days/weeks/months after treatment is over are just plain weird. Nothing feels ‘right’. Life as we once knew it is no more. It’s different, it’s changed, I have changed and it’s all incredibly strange. Like we are floating around, going through the motions until something feels normal.

And summer, I have to say, you brought it this year. Crazy hot days to start off this season. And I fucking love it. We returned to the river and I could kiss the hot wood of the pier as the sun radiates down on it. To see the kids running, swimming, fishing warms my heart. Listening to the dog pant and laughing at her as she jumps in the pool. Oh my god, it feels normal. Holy shit. Normal.

Tomorrow I want to see my sweet husband sitting on that pier with a fishing pole in one hand and a beer in the other. Little music in the background. I want to see my kids swimming and fishing and catching minnows and grass shrimp. And I’m floating on a raft and soaking it all in. Every sweet minute of it. Bright blue skies showing us that life will normalize at some point. And us taking it day by day.

So thank you summer. For showing up with your A-game. For being my favorite season. For well, all of it…

All my love,
Shannon

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