notsomeonesobject
Life & Parenting

Crossing the Line

I don’t post political stuff. But this crossed a line into personal for me. This is one woman’s experience in this life.

This is my experience and it’s not easy to read. (*Trigger warning for sexual assault survivors and Language warning)

Unfortunately so many women can relate to it…

This is why we need change. This is why we don’t need to blow off “locker room talk” because that “locker room talk” carries over into real life. This is why we need to do everything possible to make sure that Trump is not president…

  • Because I heard an old boyfriend say (about another friend), “She was passed out, why didn’t you f**k her?” and make fun of the other guy for being kind and not “doing something” with her.
  • Because some asshole left a note on my car window when I was 28 that said, “Sure would like some of that pussy.”
  • Because of countless truck drivers honking their horns and making lewd gestures at me while I drove.
  • Because I was raped by a boyfriend when I was a teen.
  • Because of so many of my friends and women I have met over the years that have been raped or sexually assaulted.
  • Because I was stuck in a relationship that I was afraid to get out of.
  • Because of all of the misogynistic and chauvinistic crap I’ve heard come out of the mouths of men. Not all men, but a huge fucking number of them.
  • Because I’ve had someone grab my butt and my pussy on too many occasions to count. And one of those mother fuckers had the nerve to turn and ask me in the sketchiest way possible, “What did you think of that?” I had my fist drawn and have always regretted not punching him.
  • Because of the creepy dad of a classmate of my brothers that always made me hug him and sit on his lap while rubbing my back and telling me how pretty I was. And I was too young to be able to explain how unbelievably uncomfortable this made me.
  • Because of that time in high school when my friend and I got in a car with some guys and they told us to put out or leave. We left.
  • Because guys hear this shit all the time and they need to be empowered to speak up to their friends. To not encourage this bullshit. To realize how harmful all of this is to women.
  • Because I once had a boss say to me, “I’m putting you in charge of the potluck lunch because you women know how to do that kind of stuff.”
  • Because a preacher preached a sermon about how women shouldn’t be deacons (or deaconesses, as he put it) in a church. He did this on the Sunday before my mom was up for nomination for deacon.
  • Because it all traumatized me.
  • Because the statistics on sexual assault are off the charts awful and those are only the ones that are reported.
  • Because I see the horrid comments all over social media from boys and men slut-shaming women and making fun of women for being overweight and threatening them.
  • Because rape jokes aren’t funny. Ever. Under any circumstance.
  • Because I don’t want my daughter to have to endure the same and for my son to know better.
  • Because this is rape culture and it is real and it does exist.

Let this begin conversations. Let us all talk to our children, no matter how hard that conversation may be about all of this. About why it is so important not to blow this off as “locker room talk”.

I am so sick of the patriarchy and the bullshit that comes along with it. And I’m also sick of not speaking up and out about all of this. Those days are over. I type this with shaking hands because this is hard to talk and write about. Because it brings up traumatic memories. But my hands are shaking out of anger now. Not fear anymore.

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2 Comments

  • Reply Jackie wheeler October 13, 2016 at 9:02 pm

    Great post…as usual…thx…j

  • Reply Stephanie McLeod October 9, 2016 at 4:43 pm

    Shannon, thank you for speaking up!!!! I 100% agree!!!! I just heard about a construction worker who told a couple walking on the sidewalk that the guy should keep his girl close because ‘he’s the kind of n***** to get on that’. Needless to say, the construction worker no longer works there!! It’s amazing to me that he glad the nerve to say such a thing. Why do people feel they need to say everything that they think?!

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